Technically Married, but not legally

I just had a small reunion with my friends from highschool. Most of them were married, some of them plan to get married while others had no plans of marrying at all.

One of them even joked to me and said “Di pa ko minyo, pero minyo na ang binuhatan” [I’m not yet married but I am already doing what married guys do ] Relating this to today’s Gospel, St. Joseph could probably say the same, but in a different context.

Joseph was betrothed to Mary. Betrothal is not just a mere engagement but a public ceremony known as the “Kidushin.” Jewish law required Joseph and Mary to conduct themselves as already married to each other even if they not yet sleeping together or have not yet been living together in one house. Technically, they were considered as a married couple, hence they could be convicted of adultery if they engage in sexual relations with other persons. The period of betrothal is also for the husband to look for a home for them to live on.

The Kidushin would more or less last for a year which allows a lot of things that can happen. Although the couple are technically married, it can still be severed by death or divorce. After that would be the stage called the"Nissuin", it is at that time that St. Joseph would finally "take Mary to his house" and they would live together. This is when they become legally married under Jewish law.

In our Gospel story, Mary got pregnant during the Kidushin,  and we all know that Joseph was not the biological father. Who would believe it was the Holy Spirit who was responsible? So Joseph had a real problem at hand because Mary would be convicted of adultery and she would have been stoned to death.

St. Joseph was no lawyer, but his plan of not taking Mary into his house was brilliant enough to spare her from being accused of adultery, which under Jewish law could be proven by mere circumstantial evidence. Mary would appear to be legally married to Joseph even if he is not around. All that St. Joseph wanted was to be the husband of Mary, and he worked very hard for it, but ironically there he was thinking of divorcing her because he could not understand what was happening.

The Gospel story shows us that God did not allow St. Joseph to leave Mary, instead, God revealed to him that he had even a better and a bigger plan for St. Joseph.  He gave St. Joseph the privilege of becoming the father figure of his only begotten son and to name him Jesus. What more could a just man asked when what is given to him is more than what is due. Consequently, St. Joseph was convinced to bring Mary to his house ( Nissuin) and they became legally married to each other. History shows the rest of the story.

We work  very hard for what we want to achieve in our life and we want things to happen exactly the way we want it. Unfortunately, not everything happens according to our plans, leaving us frustrated. This is so when it would appear that everything that we worked hard for would end up for nothing.  When we find this hard to accept, our psychological defense mechanism compels us to give up and blame everything to God. Why didn't things go according to plan? 

The Gospel story urges us to be like St. Joseph, who instead of abandoning his plan, allowed God to be part of the plan. Things turned out to be better than what was planned originally.

So let us continue to plan, and execute it accordingly, but let us always put some space to allow God to be part of the plan. We have to be open to him because he  has a better and bigger plan for us, that is why we have to LET GO and LET GOD work his plan through us.If we succeed in doing so, we will find out that we will not only get what we wanted but even so much more. 

Mt 1:18-24

Gospel

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.
When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph,
but before they lived together,
she was found with child through the Holy Spirit.
Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man,
yet unwilling to expose her to shame,
decided to divorce her quietly.
Such was his intention when, behold,
the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,
“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.
For it is through the Holy Spirit
that this child has been conceived in her.
She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus,
because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel, 
which means “God is with us.”
When Joseph awoke,
he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him
and took his wife into his home.